Category: Spirituality

Life ponderings

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N.23 ”A new Life”


As my time in Kerala comes to a close, I breathe in the moment.
Perched atop my home for the last three months, surrounded by jungle, blanketed by the bright blue sky above and the sounds of the sea in the distance, here I am once more.

Oh, how a place can change you.
I come here every morning and evening these days. There’s a silence here that nourishes me deeply. Somehow, the grandiosity of my surroundings helps me gain a fresh perspective.

I could never have known or planned my stay here. It seems to have happened by virtue of fate. When Life mingles with your affairs and sets a course tailored just for you, it may be the right time to throw away your petty plans and hop on that ride.

Who knows who you shall be coming out the other end?

As for myself, my old stories are now dead. My old self has been buried in Kerala. From my experience, there is no mistaking it: a new life’s beginning.

It’s hard to put into words what is so intimate and visceral. Birthed out of silence, I am left wordless in the face of the immensity of living.

I’ve had the privilege to make lifelong friendships. I now breathe more deeply and my walk is tall and proud. I’ve found great dignity in the company of my new brother Abdul. Both the poorest and the richest man I’ve ever encountered.

The sometimes confusing ways of Indian culture has left me more accepting of what is. I do not feel the need to label things anymore. It all seems so petty to try to catch a morsel of the river of life going full throttle in order to give it a name, therefore feeling safe in return.

In a short time, I’ll be on a plane bound for Sri Lanka. I’ve been longing to swim in the sea ever since my stay in Mexico, a few months back.

Now’s the time to satisfy that desire.

I do not know where this adventure will bring me but here I am, firmly rooted in the present with an open heart and mind.

Let’s see what happens next, shall we?

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N.21 My Own Legend

Out here in Kerala, the Onam festival is in full swing. There are lights everywhere, it feels like Christmas, floral arrangements adorn every street corner, and it’s the perfect opportunity to go into town and buy yourself a new dress.

In my case, I invited my friend and his children to go to the circus.
“The Great Bombay Circus,” as they say.

It was like stepping back in time to the carnivals of yesteryear: clowns who weren’t very funny, dwarfs who clearly just wanted to go outside and smoke cigarettes, some really cool acrobatics, and aggressive marketing on the food and drink side.

A real business lesson for the whole family!

The other day, I had a profound realization. I’ll try to put it into words for you, my dear reader.

It’s morning. I’ve just finished my yoga session on the roof of the house where I’ve chosen to live. The view is breathtaking. You can see the sea at the bottom of the mountain, and I’m surrounded by coconut trees and birds flying overhead. The sky envelops everything brilliantly.

I open my eyes and in front of me is a brown plastic chair.
I start thinking, “Damn, that chair ruins the view,” and I feel slightly frustrated.

And then suddenly, in a split second, I realize how absurd the situation is: I am in a paradise, the wind is caressing my body, and the smell of the sea is filling my nostrils. It is completely absurd to think that a simple plastic chair could “spoil” the experience.

The apparent absurdity of concluding that the view is diminished because of a chair suddenly makes me laugh out loud.

I realize that imposing a story on the reality of the moment is a personal choice, and that I have chosen the mediocre story of the chair spoiling the magnificent experience of being alive in paradise. I laugh at the pettiness of my mind.

Life follows its course. The story we attribute to it is 100% optional.

Basically, my journey has been a reconsideration of the story I tell myself at every moment.
I stumbled upon some old, dusty tales that needed cleaning up, so I’m rewriting my own legend in a more conscious way.

In any case, my friend, I hope your legend is beautiful and surprising!

See you soon!

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N.14 ‘’The Abdul encounter’’


We have been schooled in the art of generosity.
Out of nowhere, an angel came and offered us what could never be bought.

As we were sitting in the shades of a closed tea stall. Playing music to pass time while keeping a high spirit, There comes Abdul in his desert nomad style of clothing. Only his shining eyes were visible. He listened to us intently for a moment and went away. Reappearing with hot chai meant for us.
And so, our friendship began.

The English being quite limited, we communicated with the heart.
In the evening we ended up at his house with the whole family.
They fed us profusely and we gave our music in return.
Such gratefulness oozing out of these people, the music flowed unobstructed.

At first glance, one may be tempted to call them poor but, in truth, I’ve rarely encountered such richness. A humble home filled with love and smiles trumps everything else.

-‘’God is Giving’’ repeated Abdul.
Eyes shining brightly. Adorned with a true smile.
One hand on his heart and the other to the sky.

-‘’Your happiness is my happiness, brother’’
He’d say while offering us drinks

A true life lesson in kindness.
I am deeply moved by the unconditionality of it.
My perspective of generosity is forever altered.

One of his daughters sparked up by the sight of my banjo and was eager to try it.
A musician in the making!

Javi and I decided to push things a little and give a guitar to the family.
Who knows, we may come back in a few years only to find master musicians.
‘’God willing!’’

It’s important, I find, learning to receive gracefully and give unconditionally. Two sides of the same coin. The coin may have been soiled by our capitalist background: everything becomes a market place. I may be foolhardy but I believe the grandest of riches can never be bought or sold. Life cannot be equated to transactions of commerce.

We come with empty hands and leave just the same.
How grand a journey we create is entirely up to us.

I doubt I’ll remember the dollars I’ve gathered along the way.
Instead, smiles like the ones of Abdul saying ‘’God is giving’’ while handling us freshly cooked fish, that will remain forever in my heart.

God willing, brother, our friendship is only beginning!

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N.13 The beard keeps growing. The adventures keep rolling!


And so,
when my new momentary roommate Pedro asked me if I wanted to go to church for ‘’pasas’’,
I said Yes!
No idea what that meant but hey, adventure time it is!

I vaguely understood it was about food. I had just eaten but so what;
An opportunity to learn is a yes from me.

Turns out ‘’pasas’’ are potatoes. French fries, if you will.
Filled with mayonnaise and fake cheese.
A delicious disaster.

So much joy comes from embracing imperfections.
Those little crooked bends on the road.
Momentous change of plans
Quirky moments of misunderstanding
The grandiose crashing down of fantasy

Or the best one yet: Coming to the end of the line only to realize you have absolutely no idea where you are and what you want to do next.

All hail imperfections!

As I have mentioned before, it’s the simple things in Life that makes all the difference.

Once again, I’ve been welcomed as a friend.
I’ve been offered food, shelter and kinship.
Doing the dishes afterwards seemed like the thing to do.

Life flows easily when acceptance, warm heartedness and clear communication team up to foster an environment suited for growth and freedom.

Been pondering lots about my choices.
About what I believe to be possible for myself.
The environments I gravitate around

One thing I realized yesterday night: I’m never coming back.
This adventurous journey will forever change who I am.
The process of change is already swift and fluid.
All the more powerful now that I am unattached to my home in Montréal.

No one knows me
No one expects anything of me
I can reinvent myself at any moment without causing any disturbance
I like this newfound freedom.

In a new town, meeting new friends, with more beard on my face,
The same Spanish language and a whole new kind of heat.

Here I am in San Agustin Etla and the journey keeps going.

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N.12 Of arts, coffee and longings


Just arrived in Oaxaca city yesterday around 4pm. Found my hostel and went for a stroll into town. I have easily seen more visual art in my evening walk than a whole month in Montréal.

This is a thriving culture. I’ve been told so many times before.
World famous for its food and art. My Mexican friend told me the roots of this place are warrior culture. The inhabitants are fervent towards demonstrations and protests.
I can attest by the sound of a marching band at 8 in the morning, coming from the park nearby.

And so, an ignorant man’s sight seeing begins. I’m slowly going farther and farther away, trying to remember the way back. If I get my cell phone out for the map, I lose.
That’s the game I play.

If I lose, I owe the winner a coffee.
If I win, I get a coffee.

It’s a geographical awareness adventure that usually ends with grinding teeth.
(you know… the coffee…)

I’m in a good mood so I’ll go to a park near where there are lots of passersby and whip out yé ol’ banjo. Bobcat is gon’ try to make some friends. Wish me luck!

One afternoon later…

Ok, so, even though this city is clearly one of a kind, it somehow feels like all other tourist places. The recipe changes but the dish remains the same.

I long for silence and space.
I’m at this point in my life where I want the profundity of quietness to engulf me in her arms.

I long for a fire under the stars
I long to play harmonica in the woods
I long for rivers and mountains

Keep your fancy restaurants and parties.
I’ll grab a few nuts, 2 bananas and head out to the valleys
where the sky and the earth make love daily

I long to be in tune with the rhythms of nature, not the city’s tempo.

Now, that’s my own personal point of view at the moment.
If you dig art and gorgeous food, you’ve got to come to Oaxaca city.
You will not regret it.

As for myself, you’ll find me somewhere in the desert gazing at the galaxies, burning a few twigs and dried grass.

To each his/her own adventure!

P.s: Later that night, I came upon a concert by a master musician by the name of Hector Diaz. A guitarist like no other. I was glued to my chair for 3 hours straight, mesmerized by the sheer grandiosity. That’s one thing cities tend to have in common: Great Musicians.

Gotta give her that
Gotta give her that

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N.11 Of Dogs, Friendships and Goodbyes

Today, I went on an adventure with Sombra, a black dog from around here.
She led me down the mountain to the river, up the other mountain and finally back to the river again. We played in the water. I sang while Sombra was digging up roots.

We were speaking the same language.

A very intelligent dog. Always aware of where I was and coming back to get me when we were far apart. The best guide in town! A true leader.

Her fee was one dried fish and four eggs. Fair deal.
We are now best of friends.

On the next morning, the time had come to leave this paradise.
Head on down the road to another town
To other adventures and new friends.

It’s funny how life arranges things.
How each goodbyes are unique.

Right out of the tortilla shop, the bus arrives and one kiss on the cheek later we part.
Just like that.
A chapter comes to a close and the other begins.

Makes my heart tender and grateful.
One last hug to my friend Lula
One last tamales for my friends Sombra and Wapo
One last look at San Mateo on the way out.


Los Vemos!

I’ve been welcomed as a friend.
I’ve been cradled in this town’s silence for a week.
Ate lots of tortillas made by an 80 years old grandma from down the street
Played with dogs. Made fires and jammed fiercely on the banjo.

I am grateful and savor each moment.
I love Life and I suspect, by the way things arrange themselves, Life loves me too.

So long, friends!

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N.10 Dream Town


This place feels like a dream.
As if slowly getting lulled into a dreamstate.
There’s a sense of space here. Very wide and vaporous.

I’m slower and sleep like a stone. Time flies swiftly.
I now understand the people I’ve met telling me they didn’t experience time passing.
Akin to a long peaceful rest, one wakes up months later without much recollection of the duration.

I’ve had the strangest of dreams out here.
No wonder this is mushroom medicine country, I almost feel their spirit beckoning me within and slowly roasting me into a receptive state. Although my days of soul searching through psychedelics are long gone, I understand why people do it here.

It feels like I have one leg in the world and one leg in dreamtime, simply by being here.

There’s also a redneck attitude that I appreciate. They burn stuff, raise animals and build houses. An honest and simple life. Everybody greets each other without being overly friendly and possesses a good sense of personal space. Reminds me of the backcountry I grew up in.

I like it here.

As the music of Alpha Mist cradles me into chills in a local art café, I ponder upon my choices. Examining my relationship towards intimacy. It’s been on my mind a lot lately and I want to change my experience of it.

You see, I’m a pretty open and welcoming guy but for some reason, when it comes time for intimacy, I tend to hesitate. I lose touch with my desires and find myself at a loss as to what I really want and what to do about it.

Maybe an old semi-conscious response coming out of too many heartbreaks or some sort of fear of rejection takes over. Doesn’t make much sense to wall myself out of the human experience of intimacy now does it?

And so I consider my life from the point of view of empowerment and humor.
I take responsibility for my actions. Ready to adjust and realign.
I approach it with the lightness of being.

I believe our human experience to be a perfectly imperfect dance.
There’s always room for improvement as the backdrop of perfection never leaves.
Both dancing hand in hand towards a profound acceptance of the nature of change

It’s all play.
Nothing to be too serious about.

And so, as I finish my second espresso, I am wired as a power plant and ready to move.
Time for me to find myself a bike and go for a ride. Let’s get intimate with this town.

Hasta la proxima, amigos!

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N.8 Rusty Old Newspaper

N.8 ‘’Rusty old newspaper’’


I’m almost too afraid to admit it.
I was dormant for such a long while, I had forgotten the feeling.
As if wrapped in an old newspaper and left to gather dust in an obscure corner.

My god, why?
Why didn’t I do this before?

I hear you.
What the hell are you babbling about, Simon?

Having a fucking party!
By myself, for myself.
Letting it loose. Smiling and fooling around.
Man, that feels good!

Ok, so here goes.
I had just hit the public gym and stuffed my belly with 2 dobladas.
It was night time
I was filled to the brink and wired
No way I could sleep in this condition

So I hit the beach. Swam under the stars then it hit me.
Let’s get the banjo, stroll along the shore and sing my heart out like there’s no tomorrow.

Oh boy, did I!

I hadn’t felt so free in years.
After that episode, I did what all people overflowing with happiness do;
I wanted to share.

So I hit the streets, found a corner and played my heart out.
Passerbys smiled.
Some danced and played.

It’s the simple things
It’s the simple things that make all the difference in one’s life.

The most beautiful woman smiled at me with a cheshire cat grin.
I smiled back.
A woman danced to the sound of my raga, we exchanged a few moves and notes.
The guy from the gym earlier gave me a thumbs up while passing by.

It’s the simple things.

Little gifts from ife nudging you forward into a life of joy.
Akin to signposts showing you the right path, we receive smiles and tokens of appreciation when the going is good.

It’s up to us to keep at it and see where it’ll go.

For damn sure I’ve bought my ticket going all the way.
Let’s find out what Life shall bring!

Are you with me?

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N.3 Grand Master Fish

N.3 ”Grand Master Fish”

Wrapped in a blanket of croaking crickets, on a dimly lit table, I end my day with some writing. Akin to fishing, being there and waiting is an inseparable part of the process.

As the cockroaches pass by my feet, I throw my line ‘’out there’’ in hopes of catching something worthwhile. A nugget of wisdom to share with my human compadres or a witty one liner to make you laugh and ponder.

The athena is out
The line is in the river
Now comes the waiting part.

The idea must bite but it has to hook before I rail it in.
It’s a process of seduction you see, a back and forth of glances and energy pulls.

It’s strange how, by aging, I see the underlying principles of things. From music to writing, the medium is different but the same spirit applies.

From fishing to the seduction game
From sport to meditation

It’s as if all is the same but expresses itself in a myriad of ways.
The One into the many
The many into One

I remember a time, as a young hot blooded musician, I’d play every note I could at all times. In hopes of reaching, I did not allow it to come to me by vitue of proper approach. I’m much wiser now. I only play the right notes at the right time with the right tone and dynamic.
It’s so much easier that way.

But that takes a cup or two of humility. A one way ticket to the inevitable realization of being a speck of dust in this grand universe oughta do it!

We ain’t all that grand and important. We ain’t useless and vain either.
We’re somewhere in the middle.
And, for a brief moment, we get to embody a ‘’me’’ all of our own.

Probably no one shall remember us when we part and that’s okay,
it’s part of the cycle of Life after all.

Oh!! Look!! A fish!!
I caught one!

His eyes are wide and piercing. His skin is like a greasy rainbow.
As it babbles a few words of truth at me, I listen intently.

‘’Yo Simon! let me back into the river, I’m not meant to be hoarded and catalogued.
Life is meant to be experienced fully with freedom, gratitude and grace!!’’

Right on, fish!
Right on.

I let him back into the river and take it as a sign that it must be time for bed.
I am conversing with an imaginary fish after all.

So long, friends!

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N.2 The Feline King and the Proud Rooster

n.2 ‘’The feline king and the proud rooster’’

As the chicken pecks seeds off of the ground, the cat takes up most of the space on the tiny table on which I’m writing. Senior El Cato was here before me. Who would I be to dethrone him from his rightful seat? This is his kingdom after all.

I do no such calamity and write with half my book dangling over nothing.

Today I woke up to the faraway sounds of snarling dogs.
Woken out of a dream that ended with some Neil Young lyrics:

‘’Don’t let it bring you down, it’s only castles burning
Find someone who’s turning and you will come around’’

I dreamt about my dad. I rarely do anymore.
He’s been on the other side for such a long time,
I barely think about him.

I believe dreams can be interpreted many different ways. Its meanings are subjective and fluid. Nevertheless, like most before me, I’m on a travel trajectory to experience more of myself and to uncover a new sense of sovereignty within.

And so, I advance with curiosity.

Now, since I never truly had a dad, maybe the idea of a dad represents the grounded empowerment I’m looking for. Also, in the dream state, my father asked ME for advice.
To which I replied those Neil Young lyrics.

My own dad, or the idea of grounded sovereignty asking ME for advice makes me think that the answers are within and that I am already my own master.

I just need to listen.

Now, as I said, interpretations are fluid and mostly for fun.
Nonetheless, I decide to take it as a sign of faith tugging me gently towards a life of trust and intuition. Speaking of trust, did you ever find yourself the crossroads between the pull to act at the instant and the rational mind trying to explain away the urge?

Akin to stumbling over one’s feet, toppling over face flat on the ground, and the opportunity to act has passed?

Since I come from music and improvisation, I am very familiar with that crossroad.
These days, I’m fostering a sense of flexibility and sharpness in order to bring more responsiveness in these moments where it counts.

From music to Life
From chaos to musicality
From serious sternness to childlike play.

As I’m writing, the rooster crows proudly, chest high and tall standing.
No hesitation
No second thoughts
No shame
He is as he is and does not hide any of it.

Maybe there’s a thing or two I can learn from that rooster.
Hang on, I’ll go and bribe him into teaching me his tricks.

I’ll be right back!